Can I ask you to STFU?...

Listening to the Dodgers play the Rockies. ... I know it's been a while since I've written, so my fault to whoever has been checking in. I've been busy and lazy. ... Face down, ass up. I like that motto. ... So I got BLASTED by a 50-something year old white guy on his FACEBOOK the other day. Seriously. The dude is in his 50s, I've been told, and has a Facebook. You all know how I feel about Facebook, so I won't go there. Basically, used to work where I work and he lost his job and thought he was good at what he did. He wasn't. So he went all over his profile and said I was a bum and a blog and cried. I get he was mad that he lost his job, but last time I saw this cat, he was all smiles. Of course he wasn't going to tell me how he felt to my face, right?. ... Wet more girls than the pool and the beach. ... Life is too short not to have an orgasm daily. ... Alex said this: Ass play is the new black. I happen to agree. Although, this isn't something entirely new. It's kind of old. Get with the program. ... I hate when someone, mostly girls, start a conversation by saying, "Can I ask you something?" WTF is that about? Yeah, you can. And you just did. Instead of saying that, which always leads me to think this conversation is going to end up badly, just ask the fucking question. ... I like a girl who knows what defensive indifference is. ... I don't like other blogs dedicated to baseball and run by chumps. ... I'm frustrated and confused right now. I don't know what I'm doing with my life. I want to fight a lot. ... Iowa is so boring to drive through. Wish my brother luck. Although I live in Wisconsin which isn't much better. At least he's playing ball. I'm not. So he wins. ... I was welcomed into a Mexican family the other night and I'm not even with the girl whose family it was. That was unexpected, strange and a little uncomfortable all at the same time. She has a big booty, though. ... If you're a girl and we're not together, don't call to ask for a ride from the bar because you or you and your party is too drunk to drive. I'm not going to do it. The answer is "NO!" ... Sometimes I'd rather sell hardware, dude. ... Sometimes I'd rather be awake at 7 a.m. everyday. ... Have any girls put a martini glass over their breast just to see if it fit? I witnessed this recently. ... Triple June saw an Asian midget working at the gas station. I need rays of sun like that in my life. Preferably daily. ... Kate Perry sucks. So does Lady GaGa. ... How come every time I start to dig a girl, she wilds out? ... I got this baseball catalog the other day in the mail. I've gone through it like 8 times with no intention of buying anything. I just like to look. Is this how girls treat Victoria's Secret books? ... If you put a DUI checkpoint outside of a Taco Bell, that's not even fair. ... Michael Vick plays tonight. I'll watch. ... The Little League World Series is on, too. I'll watch. ... I just sat here watching TV for 2 minutes and when I looked back at the computer screen, I realized I had nothing more to type. ... It's raining. ... I can't go hit. ... I need some cough drops and a gun. ... Listening to the game still. ... Be cool and that means don't be a dick.

Pussy payments...

Listening to Sickfit by Madvillain. ... There are parts of my job that I hate every. single. day. That's why I need to be able to write some words for ME. ... If the good die young, I better learn to be bad. ... All women are crazy. Even you. They just try to keep it in for as long as they can so the person they are trying to fool falls deep enough that it's too late to escape once the crazy surfaces. Men, we just try to get a dick in your mouth or some other hole. ... I just use the mouth for the immediate future. ... I've discovered that if you are a hibitual bad decision maker, you better have some serious qualities to make up for that. LIke eating good pussy or giving head that makes a guy shake. ... On the other hand, some of you young, respectable women need to put some of those cocks down. Jesus. ... Prostitution, on the other hand, isn't so bad. That is a quest for profit. Maybe I've written this before. Still, society deems these women deviants. They are scum because they engage in illegal activities for monitary compensation. ... Drunk bitches at the bar, on the flip side, are completely legal even though they can run through as many motherfuckers in a week as a hooker. That seems backwards. Maybe the girl at the bar takes more pleasure in the sex, but what about the next morning? I bet the prositute is happy to spend that money the next day. So one is pleased and the other isn't on the night in question. But the next day their roles reverse. So who is really the stupid one? ... Women are able to barter and pay for things with their vaginas. ... Pussy costs money. Dick normally doesn't. Mine might. ... Your man is way nastier than you think, girl. He thinks of shit that you'd never imagine going through his head. That's not to say you don't think about it, but you just don't think he thinks about it. He does, though. ... And just because he came with you, that doesn't mean YOU made him cum. ... The next girl Kid Dynamite sees wearing leggings under her denim skirt or dress is getting beat with a latest issue of Vogue. FUCK! ... Just because movie stars and other dumb celebrities wear things doesn't mean they look good. ... Some dude walked into the bar with a duck the other day. On a goddamn leash. ... Car sex is underrated as an adult. Remember how dope that used to be? I know it was usually for lack of a private place that was free, but still, those are good memories. More adults should use that as a way to take a mini vacation. ... I wanted someone to text me dirty things last night. But no one did. ... It's shark week! No one better not say anything bad about shark week. Sharks are cool as shit. Only alligators and crocs can rival them in dopeness. ... I drove from San Diego to Los Angeles and the whole way I remembered why I miss the Pacific time zone. ... Vanessa Hudgins (sic) has more nude pics. I like her more and more and I've never seen High School Musical. ... But she's just more evidence that girls like lame ass guys. ... I found a couple of cool dive bars this week. ... I have hair all over me. I gotta jump in the ocean. ... Listening to The Infamous Date Rape by Tribe. ... Be cool and grow dreads.