Can't go wrong with a bartender...

Listening to Rocky Balboa trying to talk Apollo Creed out of fighting the Russian. ... I played a lot of softball this weekend and hit .750 in six games. ... I'm sick. Sore throat. Stuffed up. ... I got way smashed before I got on the plane and pictures of me ended up online. That's never a good thing. ... Met a bartender. That's always a good thing. ... I'm back on Alex's couch. ... Craig gave me cold medicine and is in love with an Asian. ... Phoenix is a place I need to be more often. ... I don't really need any Christmas presents unless it's shoes or a bat. ... Do you have a Q-tip? ... I've been promised a haircut. ... I was tanked on the plane thanks to Trenni. ... I'm a fool for lucious lips and nice eyes. ... And a brain. ... And brain. ... There is a new sex blog on deck, so check back for that soon. It will have to do with rough/take-control type of shit. ... In the land of chicken and waffles and taco trucks. ... I don't like people who feel like they have to plan everything. I move with the wind. ... Sometimes I'm horny, and then sometimes I'm not. ... Normally I am, though. ... Benny = hilarious. There's no other way around it. A Mexican who acts like a white stoner and is 20 with a 35-year old girlfriend amuses me. Plus he calls all black people Obama. That might not be right, but it was funny when I heard it in casual conversation. ... My lips are chapped as fuck. ... My bag was more than 50 pounds, but I flirted with the girl at the counter and she didn't make me take anything out of it. ... This blog helps people think. I know this because many of you tell me. That's good. ... For those of you who read it as entertainment, that's good, too. ... Anyone who reads it, period, is OK with me. ... I don't have everyday access to a computer right now. But I do have everyday access to the beach. ... Don't say "Holla back." ... Do say "You can put it wherever you want." ... Don't say "T.I. is my baby daddy." He's not fucking you. ... When a girl covers her face with a pillow, that's hot. ... When a girl is loud in bed and then after acts embarrassed because her windows were wide open ... she knew the whole time. ... We BBQd carne asada in the dark Saturday. ... I need more hoodies in my life. ... No, I'm not a player and I don't have game. If you fall for me, it's mostly your doing so don't be upset at me when something goes awry. ... Here's a new slang word for you ... Dank = good. Just like dank weed. ... My finger nail split in half. ... No good movies out. ... No good titties out. ... Listening to Grand Groove by Tragedy Kadafi. ... I have an autographed picture of the Honky Tonk Man. ... My sIstEr seNdS TeXt mEssAGes LiKe tHis. It's hard to read. ... MC Breed is dead. ... The airport where I landed this morning was playing Michael Jackson. The stuff from when he was still black and had a normal nose. ... Time to shut it down. ... Listening to Southernplayalistic by OutKast. ... Be cool and keep the pimp limp in fashion.

Edson says: Pussy has power

Another entry from Edson. This blog feels him on the softball thing and the girls thing and the blackout thing and the vaginal superpowers thing...

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The Hideout1 is the spot that pisses some people off and speaks for those that are scared to say what they really think....It's pathetic how women believe every bullshit statement they hear...Eminem was suppose to release a new album in December, now it will be out early 2009...I need some new music with substance....I'm tired of hearing Lil' Wayne...Kanye West said he's the voice of this generation and he's the Michael Jordan of this Decade. ...http://music.yahoo.com/read/news/15348921 ... Click here if interested in reading his dumbass quotes....I'm not a fan of Kanye...Obama wants college football to have a playoff system, now that's a good way to use your executive power. Thank you Mr. President we need a freakin' playoff system....I drink Heineken when I drink...Patron is good and usually leads to blackouts....Wait, maybe it's the insane amount of alcohol consumption mixed with a couple of shots of patron that leads to blackouts...I agree that sorority chicks are crazy....I once dated a sorority girl, she was and still is crazy. I think a psychiatrist would have trouble diagnosing her....I have a 52-inch HD TV, forget about watching sports on anything other than a HD TV....I'm disappointed the Lakers lost to Detroit....Believe it or not there is a competition to crown "The World's Best Bottom." The girl that won is Melanie Nunes from Brazil, http://edsonbarrantes.blogspot.com/ click here for pictures ... she's obviously hot....I wouldn't fuck Vida Guerra....I think she fits under the groupies category....Women: Please listen to me. If you are into me and are liking what we got going, don't let some person tell you something stupid without any substance and start ignoring me. It's irritating as hell. Do women not believe in talking about shit? Or is it the whole guys are all the same bullshit? We aren't all the same but with your attitude and demeanor you're going to turn us into assholes....OK, I just vented....Watching Sportscenter for the 37th time today....Kevin Johnson is the new mayor of Sacramento...Remember when he was dishing dimes to Charles Barkley?...People say I talk about sports too much....I say sports makes the world go round....Brock Lesnar knocked Randy out tonight....Lesnar is a fucking giant....People don't pick fights with him at the club. If he wants to dance with your girl you let him. Or you better drink a lot so you have no idea what's going on when he's powerslamming your ass on the bar....A good bar fight makes you feel cool....Then you realize you are an idiot and everyone is staring at you....Usually we don't give a damm cuz there's a reason we just punched someone twice our size...I have fought over a girl before...I also have held myself back because of a girl....Isn't it amazing the power pussy has over us....I should of went to Marquette out of high school. I got accepted, but didn't want to live in the midwest....My boy tells me it's not THAT bad....Speaking of Milwaukee there is no way they sign Vallejo native CC Sabithia....Quick tell me when was the last time UNC Tar Heels Football was ranked in the top 20?....Do you really need gel, hairspray and mousse in your hair....I have bought a girl a drink just because she was pretty....I bought it for her, and then I walked away....At age 26, I sit around and contemplate life a lot more than I ever had....I got friends that threw away their lives...I got friends that are doing it big...I want comfort....I don't need all the toys in life...I get tired of being lonely....I'm not scared to admit that....I'm a cool guy once you get to know me....People say I'm cocky, that's cuz you don't know me. And it's called confidence....I play too much softball...Still trying to figure out what team I'm going to run with next season...I need a drink....Ladies and gents I'm out for the night....As always stay in school and get educated...I'm out like Sarah Palin is from the news....

Stop driving drunk...

Listening to Hippa to da Hoppa by ODB. ... I hadn't planned on doing anything like this until next week because doing things like this hasn't seemed to smooth me out lately. But now I'm bored and there is nothing on TV except Harvey Birdman and I've consumed my share of junk food for the day. ... So I'm back on the horse, kiddo. ... Some of these things are spinoffs, but that's what happens when Chris is part of your blogging group and comes up with good ideas. It's good. He won't sue me for copyright. And if he does, NYC and Cali will have a collision. ... Kid Dynamo is Capt. Kool Aid. ... Burn hydro. Don't burn your friends. ... I can ALMOST take off a bra with one hand. It's that last hook that crushes my dreams. ... I can't get someone out of my mind and I super duper really wish I could. ... This isn't a front. My mood really is better. ... Long blogs are the products of bad and good moods. ... The only lights on in this whole place come from my computer and my dope-to-death television screen. Don't hate. Imitate. ... Yeah, you're out drinking again. What a lush. Guess I won't be talking to you tonight. ... My pillow has been on my couch all day. ... I need to swing a bat. ... Sammy and Juice will be in Phoenix with me. ... I don't know who will be at the Kings-Lakers game with me. It's during the week. ... Stephen will be at the Wu Tang concert with me. ... Watch It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. You won't be disappointed. ... I haven't owned gel, hair spray or any stay-in-place hair products since ... like high school. ... Haircuts make me feel like I can walk into any room, flash a smile, cock my head and turn yours. Mr. Hunt knows this, too. ... He's much more fashionable than me. ... But I can hold an expenisve suit. It's just that most of you will never see that. ... I speak well to white people. ... I speak like a jackass to my people. ... I speak like a rebel at all times. ... Outlaws are always welcome here. ... Keep pushing us underground. We never forget, yo. ... Here's my fear: Hip hop will go overboard with its fake ass Obama support and soon he will turn into a charicature and won't seem real. He'll be like Biggie or Tupac, mostly visible on knee-length T-shirts on kids not old enough to vote or adults who couldn't tell you where or when the vote was. ... My mind skates. ... If you could rewind your life, at what point would you stop? ... There are no more girls clothes in my apartment. ... My dad's afro used to be REEDICKYOULUS. ... Yeah, I'd bone Rosario Dawson. ... Not Vida Guerra. I have high standards. ... BET and MTV are in bed to make the youth of this world dumber. Those are the first two channels to become extinct when I take over the solar system. ... I have a Gucci belt that I didn't pay for. That makes me smile. ... Can we stop with the fake jewlery? What do you think educated people think when they see shit like that? Seriously. You aren't fooling anyone, it doesn't look good and it shows that you try to be ghetto fabulous but can't afford it. ... This is the mind of someone who can step outside the body and look at the shell. ... Alex downloaded plenty of good music that I need. ... Try all the Redman albums, the new GZA, the first GZA, two Big L albums and the new Q-Tip, which he says is surprisingly good. ... My favorite ghost is Slimer. He goes through walls ... even vaginal ones. ... Biology is cool because when a girl cums, her lips turn cold. ... Maybe that's a way to tell if she fakes it. ... I've faked it. Sometimes shit just needs to end and the girl isn't making it happen. ... Yeah, you can suck at it, too. ... I appreciate all the concern for my bad week that is wrapping up. ... I've seen someone throw up from withdrawl. ... I've seen someone, recently, throw up at a bar. ... I've seen someone, recently, throw up WHILE driving me home. But I was just as thumped so I really couldn't say anything. ... Apple is the worst thing to happen to me lately. ... I love cereal. I hate milk. ... I like to eat toast with butter and jelly at like midnight and later. ... I miss hanging out with my dad and watching late-night sit-coms. ... For the first time in my life, I'm officially homesick. ... I'm trying not to hate you so much. ... The fact that I have to try isn't good, is it? ... I still get lost sometimes in the city I live in. ... Cigars suck but the socializing and relaxation that is associated with puffing one is something I desire. ... Never trust people unless they tell you they don't have a disease. ... Tacos aren't healthy food. ... You have to understand that I'm just a quiet person. I'm sorry if that doesn't jive with your never-stop-talking ass. ... At least I'm not a loser. ... Here's a good way to get me off: speak Spanish to me in bed. ... "Papi" and "Daddy" work, also. ... Shut up. ... You can grab it without trying to take it out. ... Your life is bigger than the club and getting hammered inside of it. ... Get over youself a little bit and live in reality as an adult. If you don't know how to handle real life, don't take it out on me. ... I wasn't an asshole because I'm not, despite what you might think. ... It's nice thinking with a clear head. ... "Would you rather have a Lexus or justice? A dream or some substance or a Beamer or a necklace or freedom?" ... I won't drink any tequila unless I've had good stuff long enough to make me not care. ... I've changed a lot since the summer started. It's not evident by looking at me. ... You need to take stock in your life if you let a guy cum inside you and you don't even know much more than his last name. ... You need to take stock in your life and an STD test if you're the guy who does that. ... Listening to Monsters by Scarface. ... Be cool and enjoy the food you eat. It's one of the few real pleasures of life.

Why would you think that was OK?...

Listening to something from Talib Kweli again. ... Sometimes moments in your life inspire you to write and think deeply. I might have just had one, but I don't have anything to write besides this blog. ... Someone who used to be really special to me decided it was a good idea to come back into my life and frustrate the hell out of me and fuck up my birthday. Thanks a lot. I appreciate it. ... Life isn't complicated. People choose to make it that way because it adds substance and I think they don't feel like they are living it to the fullest unless some kind of drama/conflict/chaos is ensuing. There have been times in my life I've been guilty of this. More times than not, I'm able to check myself and not let it affect me too much. Other people don't have that ability and just let those troubles fester and can't get beyond them because they really don't want to. They may say they do, but deep down, they don't. ... Just because I was wrong doesn't mean it's cool for you to be when you should know better. ... You might have the Internet. And there might be porn on it. But unless you have a good high speed connection, you don't have Internet porn. ... I didn't mean to push down Amber's post, but the moment hit tonight. ... If you're reading this, read her's also. ... Guys should take notice of that post, but so should women. We'll all be better off. ... Mind Sex by DP just came on. Not really in the mood to hear that. Especially with an empty bed and a racing mind. ... I have to pee. ... OK, I'm back. ... Family Guy is funny. It's not THAT funny. ... No more butterfly tattoos. ... Don't be afraid to post what the last thing you read in the restroom was. ... A good make-out session can be great. ... A bad one can make you want to sleep. ... I've never been stung by a bee. ... Quintin Tarantino is my favorite movie maker. ... Five points to the first person to know where this is from: "So I suppose it's a little late for an apology, huh?" ... "You suppose correctly." ... That seems fitting right now. ... Maybe I'm not as random as you think. ... I'm an addict. I'll leave it up to your imaginations to figure out what I'm addicted to. ... Ms. Fat Booty by Mos Def is my favorite song. ... I won't ever pay for any girl's titties. They are more yours than mine, so you can pay for them. ... No more skeezers. ... Been lifting a lot lately. I do it for different reasons. ... I don't remember the last movie I saw in the theater. I may have written that one already. ... I don't like when people from waaaaay back in the day see you and act like they have been cool with you your whole life when you barely spoke before. It's usually because they know you're doing better than they are, so they want to latch on. Fuck that. ... No fraternities for me. ... No sororities for my daughter. She doesn't need to buy friends or rely on them for future jobs. That's not how my family will roll. ... Most girls I know from sororities are tramps and/or liars anyway. ... This blog might be the best kept secret on the WWW. ... Does anyone have Muddy Watters by Redman? ... If you do, you're OK with me. ... I don't wear body spray. ... I don't like dogs or cats. I like fish better. ... I'm all over these Cosby Show mini marathons. ... I miss the food from my hometown. ... You used to be hot. Now you're lukewarm. That's why guys don't fall all over you anymore. ... Worst invention ever: cell phones. ... Your hymen doesn't grow back just because you don't have sex for a while. You're not a virgin again. So stupid. ... Try anal. ... Let's get a little more original with our pre-marriage celebrations. ... I think I should only care about girls when my dick is hard. The other way doesn't work. ... I know where you got those Chanel and Louis bags. I'm not stupid. ... Bruce Lee is underrated in this country. ... How would he do in UFC? ... We don't hustle dro. But we know those who do. ... Check your attitude at the door and I will too. It's that simple. ... The reason people butt heads is because they are both stubborn. When no one wants to be the first to give in, it doesn't work. ... The other night, both my feet fell asleep and I couldn't balance myself when I stood. It was wild, yo. ... Let's move west like Kanye. ... By the way, he sucks. ... Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force doesn't suck. ... I'm not a fan of fog. I like mist. ... But not Sierra Mist. That's a terrible knock off of Sprite and 7-up. ... I like girls who say yes. But that'll probably end once I have a daughter. ... Strip clubs are cool places to to hang out without dealing with knuckleheads. They aren't really good places to look at girls. ... Private strippers are good sources of prostitution. ... I need a working NES. ... I need a massage. ... They say I kiss good, but that could just be Internet gossip. ... No thin lips. ... No loose lips. ... Patron makes me want sex. ... No chasers. ... No lemon. No salt. ... No crying. ... No pouting. ... No saying "no." ... No panties. ... No boxers anymore. ... No leaving your shit at my place and expecting to get it back if I never see you again. ... I never have anything to wear out. ... Mr. T is handy with computers, he says. ... Guilty pleasure: Rich Boy, Throw Some D's. The remix. ... Not a guilty pleasure: Soulja Boy. ... I have skeeted on someone before. ... I don't drink V-8. That shit is gross. ... No telling on people. ... It shouldn't be a risk that if you buy a girl a drink she might accept it and walk away. She should have the decency to talk for a little. She doesn't have to fuck. ... No faking like you're rich. ... No hangovers. ... No drunk acts of racism toward Hispanic people when you are drunk and at the Mexican restaruant at 3 a.m. ... What? Fuck. ... I think I'm done. Listening to Life is Real by Mos Def. ... Be cool and stop playing with people's emotions.

Amber says: I'll take the drink, not bone you...

This is a big day as The Hideout has its first female guest blogger. Amber is pretty dope, and she simply got tired of the one-sidedness of this blog, so she provides perspective. Agree or disagree with the thoughts, it's pretty good. Soak up game...

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In an attempt to debunk the common belief that ALL women are the same…here is a female perspective in response to the extremely biased and slightly skewed opinions provided to you on this page. A special thank you to all my girls who have provided commentary for this piece…

Fellas, fellas, fellas…what can I say? You are right to think that women are complicated, if we weren't meant to be that way we wouldn't have been created to experience monthly menstrual cycles filled with mood swings, cramping and the intense urge to binge out on everything we see in our kitchen cabinets. But, then again, those 4-7 days of hateful bliss is our only true assurance we aren't carrying your child. No, not every lady "friend" wishes to shed the most painful moments of her life on creating the next you…well at least not at the moment, no matter how cute and athletic the kid would be. This time of month is also our most horny and sexually vulnerable. You want your lady to do the freaky nasty with you in bed… the time to ask is no more than 7 days prior to the start of that monthly nightmare. Then again, you shouldn't have to ask, if she's worth your time, she WILL come to you. By the way, have we ever mentioned how easy ya'll have it?

I would have to agree with the posts saying that panties are ALWAYS optional. Of course they are and for any lady who disagrees, well she's a prude and probably boring once you get her undressed anyways. Why do men always assume that when we go out looking good that we are dressing up for you? And why are all the sexy clothes made to be sold to short women when clothes are made to be modeled by women over 5'10"? I'm 6'1" and am forced to pay more money than my counterparts to look good because I grew up drinking a lot of milk and was blessed with good genes. Yes, I'm tall….and any tool that mentions my height is nothing more than an observant douchebag. No, I'm not a model. Yes, I played basketball. No, I did not play a sport in college....but I could have if I wanted to. Yes, I get asked the same stupid ass questions EVERY fucking day of my life. I digress….Sometimes a woman likes to dress sexy for her and only her. And just because we might be showing skin in all the right places…this is NOT an open invitation for you to pounce us on the dance floor like a fucking cougar and lay your hands where no man has any right to go without at the very least an introduction and a little conversation….and even still, that does not grant you grazing privileges. And FYI, if you assume buying us a drink means we owe you anything related to the above, you're wrong, and that is your problem. We'll gladly accept them, but if you're gonna be a man and take that risk, then be a man and don't piss and moan when we kindly thank you and walk away. Those bitches that let that shit fly and are taking their pants off at bars are also taking their pants off for plenty of other guys in or out of the bar. While I agree manipulating dumb bitches is amusing... To those ladies I say this….stop making all women out to be slores. It's because of you that respectable, confident, self-assured women are forced to deal with assholes on a day-to-day basis. Clean up your act. Yes, I call my own kind bitches…that's because we are. It's in our nature, most likely a defense mechanism granted to us to deal with all you men for whom it is in your nature to think you are the shit.

Of course we act up sometimes…we are women and we are complicated, remember? For those of you who haven't caught on, you need to get used to it…just like you need to accept the fact that we will be bitches. But, that same bitch will also make you pancakes and eggs the next morning…yes, even in our panties, assuming you're the kind of man who treats us more than well enough to make us feel as sexy as we are…and we might even deliver it to you in bed. Perhaps the reason women act up is because we'd like a little love and recognition for all that we do for your lazy asses…is it too much to ask for a little cuddling throughout the day and/or night…just one of MANY theories… I hate to admit it, but even the most independent woman on some level has a desire to please her man. Yet, this same woman appreciates a man who can take care of her….in AND out of bed.

In honor of the spirit of this blog…listening to Bust Your Windows…be cool, eat right, and don't piss off your woman

Juan says: Goose = no hangover...

Another dilatory post by the group on one of Juan's blogs. Again, we apologize, but it's pretty entertaining, so read it, bitch...


In the Saga of a Few Fellas
…oh what the hell I guess I better tell ya.

That’s a little Back 2 Da Hotel by N2 Deep for you not in the know . But really you should know because what else were you listening to back in the day?
There are some classic lyrics in that fantastic party cut… “Purple Changos” and “you got the black broad and I got the white one. “

I really can’t think of a more East Bay song.

The word “Broad” is a very consistent part of my vocabulary. I can’t apologize for it. But if someone called my mom or sister that, I’d probably have to thrust kick them in the throat.
I definitely got the word from hanging out with all my Oakland people.

I am here to add to the West Coast bias.

Where was I going with this? My Saturday evening. Saga of a few fellas….. Watched an outstanding football game (Texas Tech v. Texas) at my boy Ant’s place where a crew had already been assembled.

I personally want air strikes to commence air-strikes against the entire state of Texas. However Texas stepped up (the state not the team) provided us with a great football game.

Usually they give us something stupid like George Bush or Paul Wall. Sometimes the state gives us good things like Lyle Lovett and Geto Boys. Oh and Mike Jones .

The most impressive part of the game wasn’t the scoring fest at the end of the game, or the receiver Crabtree’s run after catch for the final score, but rather the man boobies on the Texas Tech bell ringer. Those things were impressive as hell. Check out the link. I don’t know if it does justice.

After the football game, headed out on the town with my boy Ant and his motley crew. Had some drinks, met some dames.

Made it out to one bar, took off, and headed to a second one.

One of Ant’s dames made it out and he proceeded to convince her that on a night where people were costumed up that her pants were SO unnecessary. She went to the bathroom and returned sans pants and had only a long shirt on. One of the crew held the pants for the duration of the evening.

Ant lifted up the shirt of the young breezy and checked whether she had underwear and if she did, what kind it was. She acted indignant but she didn’t really seem to mind. Somewhere in the evening we lost her. I don’t know if her pants were returned to her. I hope they weren’t. I bet they were the real expensive kind too.

Met another person from what is commonly known as the “Best Coast” last night. The more the merrier. People from the West just get “it.” What is “it”- a mentality, a way of life. I have friends everywhere, but people from the West are just more my speed.

I used the word “immigrant guilt” a lot last night… let me define it for you…. It is the kind of guilt that makes you get up really early when hungover to go for a run or do some work, or makes you hold down various jobs at the same time and still looking for a side hustle. Immigrants and kids of immigrants get that… others well they don’t .

Stayed at the bar for a little bit and sucked down my fair share of Grey Goose and pineapple juice. I won’t ever have scurvy ever in my life now, but similarly, my liver is gonna shut down soon so it all comes out even.

Grey Goose is like sake to me. It is hangover free. No hangover when I fly with the Goose.

Bartenders….There’s a bartender at a bar that I frequent that is looking to have my children but she doesn’t know it yet. “Cause I see some ladies tonight that should be having my baby. Baby.”

Took a cab to a Mexican restaurant called Cielito Lindo.

Cielito Lindo is on the speed dial. For real. Place is pretty good. They need to hire some better looking waitresses though. They are a bit on the dusty side. They can do better in that department. They are capable of more. They’re better than that.

The crew well we took down our fair share of food and some. I kept it simple and got el pastor. Really wanted the ceviche but it was out.

Had I gone with lengua or something like that, it would have been pretty wet of me. And I use wet as a term of endearment. Hispanics use it too. Mojado is the term. Here is a song about it. Mojado by Ricardo Arjona.

I made the night real wet by spending about five bucks on that jukebox. I probably sang too because that is what I do. Not as wet as having stickers with either my last name, or religious figures or my home state on my car window, but wet nonetheless.

You need that kind of shit explained to you. Read a column called “Ask A Mexican” in the OC Weekly. Fantastic column by a young dude named Gustavo Arellano.

I don’t fuck with Qdoba and Chipotle and shit like that. Get that away from me. God damn that shit is vile.

I agree with my boy Ant. I need some Carl’s Jr. or Jack in the Box. Miss those.

Is there a rule that you have to be a shady motherfucker to drive a cab. Somehow one of our fares said $6 last night on the meter but dude insisted it was $9. Last week in San Francisco, some guy wanted me to pay for the cab toll fee for him to cross back across the bridge. What? Shady.

All my memorable cabbies have been in San Francisco. One was an old white guy that talked to me for about fifteen minutes about the great second baseman he had seen in his 200 years or so on the earth. I agree with him Roberto Alomar was the best second basemen I ever personally saw.
Worked out this AM. Me: 1 Nature: 0.

Cielito Lindo torta this AM at about 3AM or so: Me: 1. Nature: 1.

I’ve decided that I got to listen to more Arcade Fire and Kings of Leon . Heard them at the bar last night and decided I need to hear more of them. Saw Kings of Leon live once at Lollapalooza in 2007 and I didn’t like em. I think I didn’t like them because I just wanted to see Pearl Jam already and I don’t think they got a fair shake from me.

Then I heard “Sex on Fire” and decided that I did in fact like them. “Sex on Fire” makes me want to meet a young dame and engage in illicit but consensual activities in a hotel bathroom stall. Listen to that song and tell me that doesn’t make you want to just throw down on a kitchen floor. Or by a large body of water.

Song also sounds like a song that would be on if Dylan McKay came in the room in an old 90210 episode. That dude was just so conflicted. Cool as fuck. Dude was in high school and lived on his own. I was jealous of that and his nailing Kelli on that show. Apparently in the new 90210 (which I haven’t seen) she has his kid.

Arcade Fire makes me want to move to Canada. Or maybe at least visit for a long time.
I got to read more. I got about eight magazine subscriptions and I got to get to my pile of New Yorkers. Just not enough time for reading with participation in basketball leagues and such.

Don’t be fooled…. I’m a pretty good athlete.

Saw an ad for a pay-per-view boxing match coming up between Joe Calzaghe and Roy Jones, Jr. Why the hell would I want to watch that? So his career is over and now Jones wants to fight someone? I love boxing and I’d watch children fight. But this fight…. No thanks.

I need to meet Pam Oliver. She ran track. I don’t need a project chick or a hood rat chick . I need an athletic girl like Pam. That is what I need. I’m actually a sucker for smart girls though. I can’t tolerate dumb girls for anything. I like girls that read.

Amazon. com takes a lot of my money.

There’s something funny about watching the Cowboys fall apart.

I place people in two categories now: Obama supporters and non-Obama supporters. I really can’t say I have THAT many friends that are non-Obama supporters. I kinda don’t like non-Obama supporters. I have a bias against them. And that’s my problem. Their ignorance is their problem.

Does Joe Buck try to look more effeminate every week? Pink shirt and tie combo today? Really? The only way he’s be gayer is if he actually gargled semen.

I think I need to be an ultrasound technician. The commercial makes it sound really appealing.
Pregnant woman can be sexy—just thought of that. Actually no. I hadn’t JUST thought of it. I’ve thought that pregnant woman are sexy for a long time.

I’ve talked about pregnancy on here a lot. I’m gonna stop before I jinx myself bad.

The dame on the Lowe’s commercial has a big ass. And not the bad kind of big ass. Big ass is different than sloppy ass ladies. I’m not a white guy. White guys like the pancake ass or the concave ass. I like girls with some ass.

So in sum, I want a girl that is: an athlete, likes to read and has a great ass.

The 1st guy to get a barbed wire tattoo must be really pissed.

Love the show the Pick-Up Artist. Yes, I like some real delinquent shit.

Rich girls annoy the shit out of me. I feel really sorry for your plight in life. You are good looking, you have a great job with zero responsibility, and you hate your life. Nice. Yes that is directed at someone.

Really looking forward to going home soon.

It is “Ok” to say “Thank you” every once in awhile. I give people so much good information to use for their professional benefit and a fucking thank you would be nice. I’m gracious about their lack of graciousness … to a point. People must be raised by alley cats or some shit to not say “please” or “thank you.”

It is goddamn hailing here.

Yes I am verbose.

I close listening to some Idlewild . Enjoy.

Not happy...

Listening to nothing. ... The time stamps on this are based in the West Coast, but not everyone who posts on this is in the West Coast. ... Strawberry soda is good. If you don't drink it, something is wrong with you, not me. ... Why the fuck are people so stupid? ... I need a 25-and-over rule now because I'm pretty frustrated dealing with immature people. ... On second thought, 25-and-over isn't working too well right now either. So fuck it. ... Listening to nothing still. ... I hope everyone's day sucks.

Juan says: I wanna pick my nose...

Since we always forget to check gmail, this guest blog by my guy Juan has been sitting in the inbox for like a week. He'll have another one posted shorty. So for now, a dilatory post. Sorry, boss...

Back to the Honeycomb Hideout. If you don’t know what that is, you clearly didn’t watch enough Saturday morning cartoons.
Honeycomb's big,
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's not small,
No, no, no.
Honeycomb's got
A big, big taste.
A big, big crunch
For a big, big bite!

What do you know about that?

Last week it snowed (albeit lightly) on Monday. Today it is gonna be near 70 degrees. Weather here is schizophrenic.

If it was socially appropriate, I would shove my finger directly in my nose right now because it is itchy. However I can’t so I’m just wriggling my nose around to little effect.

Broads with color contacts… just don’t do it. I know you don’t have purple eyes. Knock it off. It isn’t a good look. Asian chicks really like this look as do Hispanic chicks. Light –skinned black girls that may or may not like Michael Jackson also think this is a great look.

My eyes are their natural color.

Why did Whoa never stick around as a slang word yet Bling Bling did? Corny fools use Bling Bling on the air. Still.

Jeter used to come to the plate playing Whoa. That alone should have gotten “Whoa” more play.

I’ve see raise the roof at sporting events here.

Speaking of sports…
Basically the Feds should go into the Midwest and have them disband Big Ten football because they're not good at it and instead focus on more important things and should do same to the South because while they may be good at it they spend too much time thinking about it.

Wendy’s Buffalo Chicken sandwich might change your life. I’m a sucker for these marketers that promote these new sandwiches. Smashed one of those at lunch with a strawberry soda.

The Wendy’s I went to---well there were a lot of patrons with neck tattoos there.

At what point does one decide that a neck tattoo is a good idea? And after you decide that it’s a good idea, then how do you decide on a design?

When you get the neck tattoo do you realize that your job prospects have been completely eliminated?

My boy Ant said this weekend that he likes rocker broads with neck tattoos. I can’t fuck with that. I guess to each his own.

I once had a strict no eye ring policy. I broke my rule for an Italian girl that liked girls in San Francisco. I’m a better person for it. Why did I lose touch with her? I’m sure it was for a stupid reason.

Tell me this isn’t how you have felt for the last eight years.

Maybe the South is partially or wholly to blame for the last eight years.

Like Pete Townsend, I like every minute of the day , I’d really prefer it to not be dark at 4:30. It’s slightly depressing. I’m not looking to leaving the office today and having to drive home with my lights on. There is something not right about that.

Listen to The Vagabond by Air featuring Beck.
Howard Stern couldn’t have been any funnier this morning. I’ve been listening to that show since I was 13. It is partially, if not wholly responsible for my sense of humor. It is probably responsible for me getting slapped a time or two by broads.

Big issue in California right now is Proposition 8, a gay marriage ban. Proposition 8 would do one thing: It would use the state constitution to discriminate. That is not what California is about, and it is not what America is about. What do I care what two consenting adults do? The commercials have been incessant. Lots of money being spent on this issue.

I want to know which black person isn’t gonna vote for Obama? I want to know what those clowns are about.

Everywhere I see, I see black folks so proud of Obama. At the Wendy’s there was a lot of peopel rocking Obama shirts. It makes my heart glad.

If a Hispanic was running, I’d never take off their button or shirt. I’d wear the hell out of it.

If Obama wins tomorrow, there’s a chance I cry like a baby out of sheer happiness.

For a lot of people, this is the 1st time they are going to vote. Why? Because they actually feel that their voice either: (1) has mattered, (2) matters, (3) will matter. That says something when people feel on the sidelines for this long.

In Political Science class we were instructed on whether physical representation by one of your own would translate into beneficiary social policy. I guess we will see here if my man wins.

Ruben Amaro Jr. was named General Manager of the Phillies. Hispanic guy. That makes 2 Hispanic General Managers in baseball in a sport that is becomingly increasingly Latino.
Speaking of the Phillies. Cole Hamels, Jimmy Rollins, Pat Burrell, Chase Utley. What do they all have in common? Californians……….all of em. And all major contributors to the team. What does that tell you about the quality of sports, generally, and baseball, specifically in California?

I really don’t want to hear about your fantasy football team. I don’t play. I could give a shit.

I don’t get dudes that spend time getting their haircut and styling their hair to make it look like they just got out of bed and they throw gel on it to solidify the look. How does anyone take cats like that seriously?

White folks like think unisex names like Keegan are classy. Lemme check… yup.. they’re wrong. They’re stupid names.

I’m going to an election party tomorrow. My friend’s wife’s hot friends are going to be there. Sadly, I’m not Jewish so I have no choice. Perhaps they will want to slum it with a guy like me so that they can get back at their father for some shit he did way back.

Joey Porter might be my favorite human being not named Eddie Vedder.

Closing with some Electric Feel by MGMT. I feel like a club kid with this song, but Daddy likes it. I feel like I should be dropping acid, looking at a kaleidoscope and walking aimlessly through the Haight . That is what that song makes me want to do: except I am drug free, last looked at a kaleidoscope at the age of 6. I have however wandered aimlessly through the Haight. Which is better than wandering through the Tenderloin . I thought I was going to lose my life there one morning in search of crepes. I love crepes, but I’m not ready to die for them. I am a man who will fight for their honor like Daniel LaRusso in Karate Kid Dos , but like Johnny Jazz , I don’t want to be their hero. I don’t want to die for them.

Out like Clay Aiken. Out like Prince Fielder in the playoffs.

Fishing sucks...

Listening to the wind beat on my windows. ... Turns out girls frustrate me as much as anything. Over the span of this weekend, I've been lied to by three different females and it seems women have as much trouble telling the motherfucking truth as guys do. ... It's funny because when you decide to be a decent person, you get punctured. ... I'm not waiting on deck just in case shit does or doesn't happen. ... Being upfront is the path most desired. ... Why do some girls constantly ask if you like they're friends when they actually like you? ... Do all women struggle this way or just the ones under 30? ... I think the one I enjoy the most is one from my past. Who would have thought? ... Crocodiles can jump pretty high for having short limbs. ... So do some black people. ... Hispanics throw baseballs in a way that makes the sphere dance. ... White people pay both to do these things. ... If you examine it enough, everything is bad for you. ... The plan is to hit .800 in Arizona. ... We keep forgetting to check the gmail account. ... Sammy has a bet that he won't shave his beard until March. ... I want to live near the ocean. ... Sometimes it's OK to eat an entire bag of Doritos in one night. ... I have a birthday soon. ... I haven't been fishing since I was a kid. It's boring. ... I saw my dad get stung by a wasp one time. ... I saw my brother swallow crazy glue. ... I once caught someone trying to break into the backdoor of my childhood crib. ... I got a Homer Simpson card. It sits in front of my TV. ... Tanner told me that marriage is just some pieces of paper. And it only means that if you decide to break up, more paperwork is required. That's not a bad way to look at it. Now if only girls could have an open mind about this. ... I understand you've been dreaming about that day for a long time, though. ... You should probably try going to church on a consistent basis before you decide to be married in one. ... I don't smoke weed, but my clothes smell like it. ... I was hit on by a girl who breeds horses. Then she made jokes about wanting to ride me. ... Graffitti pieces aren't crimes. ... I'm not a math guy. ... Crazy all depends on the culture you grew up in. ... Don't say one thing to my face, then say another when I turn my back. That's cause for a swing to the neck, kid. ... Listening to a freestyle by The Game, but he's not as loud as the voices bouncing between my ears tonight. ... Be cool and support your local condom distributors.

No more excuses...

Listening to Worst Comes to Worst by Dilated Peoples. … For the first time since like Sept. 11, 2001, it felt cool to be an American. … But for anyone who thinks the path will be easier, you’re fucking wrong, yo. Now you’re accountable for your actions and failures. … It goes like this, Barack Obama didn’t grow up privileged or rich, yet he ended up as president of the United States. Plus, he looks black, even if that’s only a part of his heritage. … So that means black, white, Hispanic, Asian, anyone who grows up in the projects or ghetto really doesn’t have any more excuses. The man who runs this country grew up in a similar fashion and didn’t bitch or complain. By all accounts, he worked his ass off and became the guy we know him to be today. … So now, you can’t cry about being shitted on because he proved it can happen. … The BCS system is bogus. … Some days I believe I need a new job. … Nikki is more than a bumble bee. … I know more than one person who flipped a coin, so to speak, to decide who to vote for. Why even fucking vote? … I hear California might be getting a bullet train. That would be so dope. The population of Central California might boom if it happens, though. Then it would be just like the Bay Area or San Fernando Valley. … I watched Kill Bill the other night and it reminded me that I need to get GZA’s Liquid Swords. … I should check my mail before my box explodes. … Someone recently promised to send me some pictures and they still haven’t shown up. … Here’s something I noticed from election night: Obama held his rally at a public park in downtown Chicago. John McCain held his meeting at a ritzy, exclusive resort in Phoenix. That sort of paints the picture of why Obama won. Not to mention the fact that it was tough to spot a single minority in McCain’s crowd. … Call me naive or ignorant, but hunting is so stupid. … Remember when Ed Norton made that dude bite the curb in American History X? … If you haven’t seen the new Vida Guerra pictures, you should. … The new Guitar Hero commercials are decent. … I’m so glad I don’t have to pick out college classes any more. I would wait until the last minute then just go sit in on the full ones until I got booted. Then I’d go talk to the professor and show them how smooth I was, then they’d let me in. … I’ve been called unprofessional. To that, I say suck my dick. … Part of me feels like I should be doing something else for a living. … Cassie Ventura. Enough said. … Why do all flavors of Flavor Aid come as white powder? … When will they find Amy Winehouse face down in vomit? … I’m so frustrated today. … I haven’t even thought about sex yet. … Listening to You Ain’t Fly by The Roots. … Be cool and try to find me a new way to make money.

Edson says: No need for panties...

Here's another guest blogger presented to you by this group. This is Edson, and I laughed reading this so hopefully you will, too. As it's been posted in the past, if you want to throw something up on here, send it and we'll get it up. And again, we post as you sent it...

Believe it or not there are people that live in Sacramento and have no clue it's the capitol of Cali....Fuckin' retards....If I have to hear another Barack Obama conspiracy theory I'm going to punch someone...If you want to be Republican get the fuck out of California because your vote means shit in this state...The SNL spot with Will Farrell and Tina Fey making fun of George W Bush and Sarah Palin was hilarous...I keep hearing this is the most important election ever....I think I heard that four years ago....The US is in a fucked up economic state....Warren Buffett is a genious and if you don't know who he is google him....People need to get educated....Right now is a great time to invest because you can stretch your dollar more due to market prices being so fucked...I wish I had the funds to invest....If I meet Skip Bayless, I probably would call him an idiot...The three I's: Innovators, Imitators, Idiots. Which I are you?...The Lakers will win the NBA championship....The Dodgers better resign Manny....Playboy is getting played out simply because these girls all look the same...There's more whores on myspace than at Hef's crib....It's sexy to flaunt all your goodies on myspace but it eliminates you from wifey material....Girls with no self respect are necessary for clubs and bars to make money....Read the book from "Underdogs to Wonderdogs," and learn all about how my alma mater made history...If a girl makes me hard she better finish the job. Don't tease me and then get off my bed and say you gotta go. The fuck is that all about....I will join the mile high club before I leave this earth....I'm addicted to my Blackberry...The iPhone needs to be available to more than just AT&T customers...The Blackberry Storm will make everyone forget about the infamous iPhone...Girls love to play Rockband and Guitar Hero...Ladies: Please make sure you wear a thong or no underwear with white pants/shorts. Actually there is no reason to wear anything other than a thong....Sarah Palin got featured in a story on ESPN's Outside the Line....I got a serious school boy crush on Megan Fox. I would love to motorboat her and eat her pussy for hours. She's all that folks....If you aren't in college and hitting the bars daily it's hard as hell to meet girls....Online dating is the ultimate sign of desperation....Pride alone would never let me participate in online dating...I need a million bucks....I agree with Ant, Lil' Wayne is overrated and played the fuck out...Radio rap is whack....Give me Warren G's "Regulate...G Funk Era" over any of Lil' Wayne's albums...California has the worst NFL teams currently....I'm out like Greg Oden was before halftime against the Lakers....

The Joker sucks...

Listening to Renee by the Lost Boyz. ... I saw too many Rainbow Brights last night. ... Bumble Bees, too. Although, a fly one did latch on later in the evening. ... Me and Juice looked more like muggers than regular people. ... I wasn't supposed to drink. Of course, I did. ... Juan saw plenty of white people in black face. So did I. What the fuck is wrong with people? When did that become OK to do? I'm not even black and I was shocked. ... Sammy said I should have been Barack Obama. ... These Air Max 360s in this book are calling me home. ... I got made fun of for ordering food in Spanish last night ... at a Mexican restaurant. ... Someone stole me a bottle of chile. ... You take the good with the bad for Halloween because average girls can look hot, but not-so-hot girls can look far worse than they normally do. Buy costumes that actually fit, please. ... I was happy someone didn't go out clubbing. I wasn't happy that same person decided to make other kind of plans. ... I missed out on Little Red Riding Hood. ... Here's something girls should understand: We do NOT leave our boys. Unless a guy is bitch made, he rarely will. ... I woke up in time to watch afternoon college football. ... Georgia just fumbled. Fuck! ... I'm pretty sure every guy who decided to be Joker knew everyone else in the country would be doing the same. Those people should be beat like techno music. ... Guys can't get upset when other guys stare at their girls if they are dressed like hookers. That's the rule. ... Mini gave me her Carmex, so I'm good now. ... I like seeing tattoos people aren't supposed to see. ... I need a taco truck. No, that is NOT the same thing as a lunch van. ... Good to have Stacey back. ... Too many of you have Rolls Royce frames and Volkswagon brains. ... Bouncers might be the scum of the planet. ... Why is prostitution illegal but gold-digging is not? ... Doggy Dogg World is such an underrated song. ... Woodgrain was dressed as Rollie Fingers, but only a few people knew he was actually supposed to be Method Man. ... The last three weeks are remembered in my mind in single instances that were usually funny. Everything in between those flashes is blurry. ... MMA is more interesting than boxing ... for now. ... O-Dog, Nino Brown and OG Bobby Johnson were three of the hardest people in the history of urban gangster films. ... Don't leave dirty pictures on your digital camera and then go out on Halloween and leave that motherfucker laying around for guys to look at. ... Being in love is overrated. Being single is overrated. ... This week has been a test in finding ways to get home. ... Actually, the last two weeks have been like that. ... I need some juice. ... I had an overload of boy shorts last night. Someone step up to the plate and just wear a thong or nothing under your short dress or skirt. ... What ever happened to drive-by shootings? ... Stephen is begging me to get a tattoo. ... I would never call my girl buttercup. ... My iPhone is stealing wireless right now. ... Don't be afraid to dress in front of an open window. ... Sex in the shower should be better based on the way movies make it seem. ... Don't be afraid to like me. I'm pretty dope. ... What if Mac Dre were still alive? ... What if DJ Premier actually did that album with Nas? ... Listening to Clear the Lane by Phil Da Agony. ... Be cool and consider dressing slutty for every day occassions.