You can grow up anytime now...

Listening to La Rhumba by RZA, Method Man and Killa Sin. ... I got a lot on my mind but I don't know if I feel like putting it all down right now. ... Girls need to learn how to talk shit out and not form their own judgements based on ill-informed theories they have about the other people or their intentions. You just end up making yourself look immature and foolish. You can call yourself a grown person and an adult all you want, but until you're capable or recognizing your inabilities and being rational about things, you don't stand a chance in a relationship. I once wrote, not too long ago, that if you're over the age of 25, man or woman, and have had at least two serious relationships, you're probably part of the problem. I wouldn't put myself beyond that category, either. But I've definitely learned from mistakes I've made as well as from the mistakes made by others. Until you can do that, good luck with your pocket rocket and battery supply, yo. Maybe the Latin girl was the way to go afterall. ... Funny how one goes and another replaces. ... Something is cool about artwork on your neck. ... My fingers are cold. I don't know how much longer I can type. ... We just trying to party, holmes. ... In my pants pockets: Coach money clip with two credit cards and three IDs, cherry Carmex stick, 55 cents, keys, $31, dirt. ... Sloppy people piss me off. Get your game right once in a while. Do something different with your life. ... White guys love cargo shorts, flip flops and either a dingy retro t-shirt or a golf shirt. I hate that. ... Whatever happened to AZ? ... Juice isn't bad for you if it's real juice. ... I disguise my ghetto well. So don't make it surface. ... I decided I like girls who ride horses. ... I'm done with this today. ... Listening to Life's A Bitch by Nas. Pure coincidence. ... Be cool and ditch school.

Cartoons fucking rock...

Listening to Axis: Bold as Love by Jimi Hendrix. ... Palo Alto is now seen in a whole new light for more than one reason. ... Right now, I really want to fight someone, but he's a senior citizen. It's an easy win but that's not even why. No one acts like I'm their kid except my parents. ... I got too many clothes and not enough closets. ... I got to stop drinking soda, man. It's killing me. ... I backtracked on that tattoo thing. ... I want a haircut. ... That 70's Show comes on A LOT. ... If you don't have the Boomerang channel, step up your cable game. ... I want to go swimming again. ... And make out with someone. ... I haven't played ball in a long ass time. Motherfuckers around here ain't that good anyway. ... Whoever said life is short musta had non-stop pussy, a lot of money, no job and good weather. Otherwise, that shit is bogus. ... I don't drink Red Bull, Monster, Rockstar or coffee. Kill that noise. ... Stop smoking cigarettes. That shit is gross. I probably wrote that before. ... The sex blogs have taken on new life. ... I'm in Jeff and Darcy's wedding. I think Alex is my plus-one. ... If you read this stuff, don't do it to find out about me or what's going on in my life. Just read it for entertainment or inspiration to write your own shit. And if you don't have a place to stick it, just email it to me and I'll post it up with your name. But again, don't try to read between these lines or assume shit or figure anything out other than what is EXACTLY written. Otherwise you look like a damn fool. This is written with a murky tone for a reason. I'm not stupid. I know what I'm doing, yo. ... Alex just told me that if I get him tanked enough, he might put out. Dope. ... No sex in a while. ... Woodgrain threw up in the club recently. Not once, but twice. Hilarity ensued. Then I danced with Lisa. ... Speaking of that, her friend said I should be her baby's father. And her other friend, who is engaged, told me "my pussy is tight. Is that OK?" ... Why would a girl think that after we've seen each other naked and she's already flipped out about something that was none of her business, that we could just be platonic friends? Idiocy. ... I gotta go. I think I'm gonna drink tonight and watch the Lakers. ... Listening to Wait by the Ying Yang Twins. ... Be cool and boy shorts are nice.

I like bracelets...

Listening to Dave Chappelle being Rick James on a Talib Kweli mixtape. ... I like orange chicken. Who doesn't, I guess. It's the easy thing to get when you order Chinese food. It's kinda hard to fuck that up. ... I've learned this living in different parts of the country: Not all Chinese food is the same. It's very different in Texas, California, Illinois and the East Coast. Dishes aren't cooked the same way. Pan fried noodles are very different depending on what region of the country you get them in. ... The Cavaliers look good. The Lakers look like trash. ... My vacuum sucks so bad. It don't pick up shit. I think it leaves more stuff on the ground than there was when I turned that bitch on! ... I don't understand girls who don't like sneakers. There's more in this life than heels and slip-ons, yo. ... They say the first thing a girl notices on a guy is his shoes. Well, if a girl can wear some fresh sneakers, and not have them looking ghetto as fuck, that goes a long way to making me want to make out with you. ... Don't have a Bob Marley poster or t-shirt if you've never heard his music. Just because you smoke weed doesn't mean you should have that stuff without knowing his shit. ... Ricky Hatton should stop taking big fights. ... Yeah, I still like Asian girls. But I haven't met a cool one in a while. ... If you watch The Hills, stop reading my blog, stop talking to me if I know you and stop living your life through people on a "reality show" (that shit isn't a reality show, btw). ... I shouldn't have to tell you I want head. Also, no guy wants to hear "I only do it if I'm really close to somebody or if he's my boyfriend." Serious? Grow up a little, especially if you're saying that when you're already willing to get naked and have someone go down on you. Selfish ass bitches. ... Oh yeah, get over it and swallow. ... I slept until 2:35 p.m. today. ... Alex falls asleep DURING sex. Stephen throws up on girls DURING sex. Both of those things are hilarious to me. ... If you meet a cool guy older than 25 you should try to stay away from asking "why is a guy like you still single?" All that is is a death wish because sooner or later, you'll find out. Also, if you're in the same age group and single, there's probably something wrong with you, too. ... Don't get married just because you think it's that time in your life. ... Too many people are afraid of being single. It's not that bad of a life, especially when monogomy isn't natural. You really think we're the only species on this planet predisposed to being with one person for our entire lives? I'm not saying it's not possible, I'm saying it's unnatural. ... I don't think every person has one person out there for them. I think they have several, probably hundreds or thousands. The trick is finding that person. If everyone was with who they were "supposed" to be with, we wouldn't have a 60% divorce rate in THIS country. In other countries where sex is far less taboo and the cultures are more open about it, the divorce rate is lower. If you don't believe me, you should actually try doing something different with your life and read a little bit. ... I judged a pole dancing contest recently. It was bogus. ... Guys have candles too. That's not just a girl thing. ... Just because you like someone you can't have, don't keep your friend from having them. Selfish. ... Girls want a "soldier" until he acts like a "soldier" on them. ... This tattoo thing is probably going to happen. ... I don't really like girls who drink beer. ... Actually, I don't really like girls who drink ONLY beer. ... Naked pictures of Rhianna. I was telling people that was the next episode in this drama about two months ago. I don't think I wrote it, but it was sort of a guess and it turned out to be right. Nice. That girl has ass. I can't hate that. And I am and I'm am not a fan of pierced nipples. ... It's hard for me to say no to nice people. ... A battle ain't a battle if your snake don't rattle. ... OH! I have a good little diddy from my recent past. Don't start talking to a guy, whether he's a new one or an old one, when you KNOW you're still trying to "work things out" with an ex. That definitely deserves a fucking sock in the chin. ... The NBA playoffs are so boring right now. ... Baseball is king. Maybe we gotta get over it because the playing field was a lot more level than anyone is willing to admit. ... I'm through wondering who thinks what and when she might email me. ... Few things are a better time than a good wedding reception or a night of drinking at my godmother's house with family and my boys. I really dig that my people like almost all of my family. Alcohol will make people closer, that's for sure. ... Hey, girl ... hey! ... Yo ... Girl! ... What's your name? ... Amanda made me some bracelets. That was very nice cuz I didn't even ask. ... I'll be home in less than a week. ... My family issues are so stupid. ... People have to learn to let certain things go and that some shit is just not worth worrying or being upset or pissed off about. Really, you'll be happier whenever this is learned. You live with more tranquility. ... Even black people are embarassed by the outrage of the black community in regards to fried chicken places running out of fried chicken. ... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VBflm_S61Wg ... That picture below made me really happy until I found out it was digitally enhanced. ... Be careful when you let the liqour do your thinking. ... Did that dude from Jon and Kate plus 8 cheat on his white woman? ... I don't know if there's going to be a more scrutinized president after four years than our current one. ... He's not to blame for the swine flu, I don't think. Although, I can't be certain. ... My mentors always tell me "don't give them ammunition for when they criticize you. They're going to do it no matter what, so just don't give them any reason to." That's too bad. ... Yeah, and you probably think strippers like you, too, huh? ... I'd spend money on you if I liked you. Until then, you can buy your own shit. ... No, I don't have sex. Right now. ... If you don't have kids and you're single (single means not married or engaged) drink, smoke, party your ass off. ... I never had a girlfriend the color of flour. ... You don't want to be inside my head. ... Ice, vanilla ice cream, chocolate quick, a banana, cinnamon, a blender. ... I don't give a fuck who your cousin or best friend used to fuck. ... Aubrey is cool because she says "nitwit." That's like me saying bogus. ... If you got something to say, I'll post it. It really doesn't matter what's on your mind. ... Name the last time you saw something music related on MTV. ... I'll wait. ... I don't like the name "Nick." Nicholas is cool though. ... Don't get upset if I don't answer your call. Just don't leave me a voicemail unless it'll make me laugh. ... I got to go now. Listening to Xzbibit with Fishbone. Be cool and don't put bumper stickers on your car.

Fuck your wall (I'm back)...

Listening to pass out by Tha Alkoholiks. ... This music fits my current lifestyle. I used to not drink on the West Coast. But now, I've learned it's not so bad. ... Also, Woodgrain said smoking weed is a sign of maturity in an adult. I think there's something to that. ... There are people in my life that are definitely cruising for a bruising. ... Fuck a dozen roses. ... Don't find me. Don't follow me. ... For everyone who showed some support the last week and a half, I appreciate it. For those of you offended that I didn't tell you what was going on, get the fuck off your own nuts. How selfish are you that you want to be upset that I didn't share something extremely personal with you, and then bitch about it? Just because you weren't told what happend doesn't mean you aren't cool with me, it just means you aren't one of my three best friends in the world that I've known since before I had pubic hair. Go cry in the corner, kid. ... I'm not Sean Paul. I don't need a light. ... I like living in the dark. No one can see what you're doing that way. People who need light just want to be seen and pretend their famous in whatever circle they run in. Why else would you have a bottle party in Fresno? ... Kelis is leaving Nas? Ouch. ... Look, if you can't laugh at most of the things that happen in your life, you'll be miserable and no one will want to hang out with you except people who are also miserable and want someone to feel their faux pain. Those people just want comfort in knowing other people hate things the way they do. ... It's hard for me to be serious around people I actually like. I joke around a lot, if you don't know. And if you don't know, it's obviously because I don't like you. ... Shit is going to happen in your life and maybe it'll be bad at the time, but if you can't lighten yourself enough to eventually chuckle at it, then what good is living? Just swallow some pills. And by "pills" I mean a bullet. ... Whatever is beneath the surface shouldn't be so hard to get to. Saying you're "gaurded" is an excuse to not get close to anyone for reasons only you know, and that wall doesn't make it hard to do. It just means you aren't letting yourself and that's the reason you choose to give instead of being a grown person and just saying "I don't want to get too close." ... Everyone has cheated or been cheated on or had a bad relationship or had a good one that ended badly, or whatever. We all have stories, you're not the only one. If you can never get over those experiences and just use them to build your character, then don't bother with anyone else. It's not fair to other people when you don't start them with a clean slate because of something someone else, who they have no idea exists, did to you. ... Girls of my life can say what they want, but I'm naming my first son and deciding on his hair style. Not you. ... The worst thing you can do is assume things without knowing for sure. You might miss out on something cool. ... I don't have clothes on. ... Four pairs of jeans are scattered in my living room. ... This is why crushes are nice: Because they're still far enough away that you don't know everything about the person except for what you like. That's the coolest feeling, yo. She's perfect at that time. She's smart. She's not annoying. She doesn't expect anything of you. Both of you know there's an attraction but neither person acts on it for fear of fucking up the mystery. And it makes sense, because why turn that person into a carbon copy of something you've already had? I have someone like that in my life right now. If I lived closer it might be more than a crush. ... Sitting on airplanes every week gives me time to think. ... This Bulls-Celtics thing is ridiculous. ... I'm not getting married in a church. ... I might not get married. ... I like fruit. I should eat more of it. ... I hope I don't get the swine flu. What if they discovered the cure for that was eating bacon? That would be funny to me. ... Part of me wants a girl who plays softball. But I've been there already. I don't think it's for me. ... Don't spill shit on my rug even if it's already stained. Bitch. ... I wanna go out tonight. I've been having success doing that. ... Why does Los Angeles and San Francisco close at 2 a.m.? ... I've never been sprayed with mace. ... If your girl is from my area, she probably already knows me. ... Whatever you got for me, I can handle. ... "You've got to be fucking kidding me." I like to say that. ... Go west like Kanye. ... I can't drink Henny anymore. It taste too syrupy now. ... Pass the asprin. ... I'm about to dash. ... Listening to Half Day Closing by Portishead. ... Be cool and I really mean that. Don't be a jerk unless someone deserves it.