Because, tequila is fun...

Listening to Axis: Bold as Love. ... I fucking hate deadlines. ... Headed to the West in the morning. ... I need the beach and bikins. ... If I'm mad at you, don't try to be cute to get back on my good side. It's stupid. Just be sincere and real and don't act like shit hasn't happened because then you're number gets deleted and I don't want to talk to you anymore. ... I don't like working out in front of people. ... I don't like bartenders telling me I can't have another drink. ... I called a black guy a "sambo" the other night. We all laughed. He called me a "spic" and a "wetback." We were all good. ... This girl recently claimed to be a Buddhist, but she just happened to be the biggest drama hog I've ever met. ... Peter Piper Pizza is NOT the best pizza around, miss. ... You can tell a lot about a person by looking through their MP3 player. What they're into, maybe where they're from, where they've been, what they're into outside of music. ... At the same time, you can learn nothing because some people have really wide-ranging taste, and unless you're clued into what they're about before looking, their music might go right over your head. ... Go away. ... Josh Smith is a cry baby. ... When people argue, and they're both INTELLIGENT about what their points are, and the other person is actually LISTENING to them, some very good things can come out of that. The problem is most people don't go along those lines and just want their point to be heard, and if a good counter is presented, they just tune out. ... It took my like a half hour to get a cab the other night. ... I'm looking for heatlhy food. ... One of my girls said this to a dude we know the other day: "I've learned my lesson about drinking with (Kid Dynamite). You don't survive it because he lines up shots of tequila like their fucking water." Yes, that's pretty much how it goes down. ... I left my charger in Iowa. ... I wanna make out. ... I need my back rubbed. Maybe an Asian parlor in my future. ... It's almost May and my heat is on. ... I just realized a super hot girl lives in my building because she came up and talked to me on the treadmill. ... Well, I assume she lives here. ... Cocoa butter ... Socks ... Dress shirts ... Nice shoes ... Sneakers ... Toothbrush ... Wife beaters ... Toothpaste ... Shampoo ... Jeans ... Tees ... Hats ... What else? ... She sounds better than sushi right now. ... Still listening to Jimi. ... Be cool and text dirty things to people to make them smile.

Cornfields, baseball and Yukon Jack...

Listening to Let Me Ride by Dr. Dre. ... Spent the last couple days in Iowa and spent a lot of time around the baseball diamond. ... We made friends with an old, fat, white guy in a bar. He was hammered and fell asleep on our table. He likes to drink Yukon Jack, so I named him that and everyone at the bar started calling him Yukon Jack. ... Also, a fat girl kept asking me to go to the bathroom with her. She realized it wasn't happening so turned her chair around and asked my brother. ... Chris said he hates pogs because it was a dumb fad and slammers were just a waste of metal. Agreed. ... Jose likes a white girl. She's tall and from Utah. And she may or may have not been slimed in her life. ... Funny how girls who are used to being right, or thinking they are right, all the time completely - completely - shutdown when you throw facts in their face and they have nothing to say because they know the other person is correct. Instead of saying, "you're right," they just close up and stop talking because they can't admit they are wrong or that it's at all possible that they might have flaws. ... Yes, I'm talking about you because I know you still read this shit, which adds a lie atop everything else. ... Go have a happy birthday. ... The West Coast trip is less than two weeks away. ... Phoenix is two weeks away. Kinda excited about that one. ... Rash Guard likes stupid cowboys that dance to stupid fucking Black Eyed Peas songs. She's so lame. This is why we make fun of her. ... I don't like driving. If I win the lottery, which I don't ever play, I'm hiring a driver. ... Jamarcus Russell sucks dick. The Raiders make stupid picks and will probably make another dumb one in about 2 minutes. ... I don't really like Vitamin Water. ... I have a lot of girl scout cookies. ... The Raiders just picked Ro McClain, a linebacker from 'Bama. Eh, morons run that organization. ... Play the next cut on that CD while I summon these spirits. ... Watch Treme on HBO. Hard. ... Watch Aqua Teen Hunger Force. ... I'd like to thank all the cartoons that raised me. ... My feet are always cold. ... I don't know what I'm going to eat tonight. ... The Lakers gotta sweep this first series to make me think they'll win a title again. ... Good thing Nathan turned out to be a douche bag. ... That fat drunk guy in Iowa did a toast with a round of shots that night that went something like this: "I'd like to make a toast ... to ... (pause) ... (pause) ... WHOOPIE GOLDBERG!" ... I laughed so hard I almost fell off my fucking bar stool. Of course, we all did a shot to Whoopie after that. ... I saw Hurt Locker the other night. Pretty intense. ... I saw Zombieland. Pretty funny. ... I saw Bad Lieutenant. I shoulda been high before I started that one. ... Who would win in a fight? A tiger or a shark? They are fighting in four feet of water. ... I say the shark because even though four feet of water isn't a lot, it's enough to severely slow down the tiger, whose power and agility would be stifled. ... I hate the Cavs. ... I started typing the word "still" in my phone and auto-type came up with "stillborn." WTF? ... I wanna write something about someone on this thing but there are some people that read this and can't take it for what it is and I don't feel like dealing with that fucking headache. ... Nicole and Brandon have a text date. ... Listening to Alright by John Legend. ... Be cool and don't be afraid to have a crush on someone.

I just want someone I can go to a baseball game and around my friends with...

Listening to my "Make Babies" playlist in honor of this blog. Currently, the tuner sits on "Find A Way" by Dwele. ... I rarely, rarely do topical blogs (I think the last one I actually remember doing was the sex blogs like five years ago when I sucked as a writer), but this was insprired by a question I was just asked by Nicole and Janelle's "roommate." ... And my answer is sure to get me some hate, but whatever. Shut up. ... The word "monogamy" basically means to have one mate/sexual partner at a time during a lifetime. Obviously, with something like this, the definition runs much deeper depending on culture, people and even households. I'm not going to claim to know about other cultures because I barely know enough to satisfy my thirst for me own, but as with every word written on this bitch, this is what I see it as being. If you disagree, feel free to comment or even write me a blog of you're own and I'll throw it up as a response. ... Open dialogue, yo. ... So what sparked this entry is a lady telling me she believes men are built differently than women ... duh. ... With that, she said monogamy isn't possible because every man will cheat, also noting that men are built differently than women. I assume that means genetically we're predisposed to cheating. ... I don't even know where to start. ... First, the New York Times Magazine just wrote a pretty interesting piece on being gay and if people are born that way, based on nature, or if it's a choice. This is an old argument, but the cat who wrote the story actually observed animals to determine if they showed gay tendencies. ... This is sort of along the same lines of what I was told about men not being able to help themselves from cheating. ... I grew up around people that cheated on girlfriends and wives. ... Family, friends, parents of friends, whoever. ... The rules of our society say you're only allowed to cum on the chest of one woman at any particular time in your life, until you cut ties with that person, you're not allowed to cum on anyone else. ... We all understand the concept. Men and women. ... I wholly disagree with men being more predisposed to cheating. I think people in general have that in them, based on nature. Animals don't stay faithful, for the most part. There are exception, I know. And I know that brain power separates us from animals, but instincts remain. ... Men cheat more, yes. At least that is what is reported. The thing is, this culture expects men to cheat - EXPECTS - so we are watched far more closely than women. When you're constantly watched and hawked, chances are much greater that a man will be caught stepping out on his girl. ... On the other end, women are not expected to cheat. They're always seen as the ones who will be faithful, so they aren't watched as close as men. Therefore, it's more difficult to find a woman cheating on her man. ... I'd say boredom is the No. 1 reason eyes stray before hands, mouths and genitals. ... Temptation is everywhere, but it's far greater for women. It's rare that a good looking man can walk into a club and can't walk 20 feet without being harassed by women. On the other hand, a good looking woman encounters that problem, especially when alcohol is involved. So this notion that the temptations for men are much greater is bullshit. Plain and simple. Temptation hits women more than men. That's not to say they act on this more often, I'm just saying it's more prevalent. ... I've made the argument on here before that men act on logic and women act on emotion. I can't stray from that now. ... Women become much more emotionaly invested in a person/man much faster than a man can. So, sometimes blindly, a woman will enter a relationship with full expectations that the man will be faithful to her and because she is soooo emotionally invested and attached, she rarely sees the temptation as anything more and probably doesn't act on it. But ... BUT ... that is because she doesn't believe her man is cheating. ... If she believes otherwise, fuck. All bets are off. She is much, much more likely to stray. ... Also, when a man is married and cheating, it's is highly likely that the woman he's fucking is either also married or KNOWS the man is married. So this high-horse shit about how men are dogs, please! Yes, men can act a fucking fool, but it always takes two and when a married man cheats, it is so difficult to hide that fact from the woman he's seeing. She knows. She just chooses not to give a flying fuck. So women are just as grimy as men. Let's not kid ourselves. ... Back to temptation and being logical. ... Men look at the woman they have and ask themselves, "am I selling myself short? Can I land something better?" ... With those thoughts can eventually come actions. Not always, but it's always at least a possibility. ... If a man has the option to explore other avenues and is unsure if they are better than the one he's currently on, he might go down it. But I don't know many guys in a relationship who would say, "Yeah, this bitch is clearly four steps below the one I have now. But I'm gonna fuck her anyway." ... It happens, but it's much more rare. Also, women are probably faced with the same situation and rarely take the bait. But again, it happens for them, too. ... I don't agree with the statement that there are more faithful women than men, either. That's dumb to believe that. ... Men might be driven to cheat because they don't have a porn star in bed or they have more attractive options. Women can cheat because of the thrill of the moment (again, emotion) or because the man is a loser or because he's not fulfilling her needs outside of the bedroom (not sending flowers, not telling her she looks pretty in that dress, not asking her how her day at work went). Men = physical. Women = emotional. ... Also, looks and sexual chemistry fade for a man much more quickly than for a woman, I think. Someone told me one time a long time ago, "Show me the finest woman in the world and I bet I can show you someone who is tired of fucking her." ... That's probably incredibly true. ... I also think that women cheat in different ways. It's not always sex. ... I think a woman is more likely, than a man I mean, to get involved in a relationship with a man that fulfills her emotional needs, not her sexual ones. Say, she might talk to someone all the time online, or thru texts. She might have luch with this guy, she might help him shop at the mall for a gift for his mom or kids. If that guys is asking all the questions and comments that she needs to feel nice, and if her current man isn't doing them, then she's going to gravitate toward that. Maybe some people don't see that as cheating. Women like to call those people "friends," which brings me back to a point I've always made on this blog: Men and women can RARELY be just "friends." If both or one is attractive, someone in that relationship will almost always say yes to an invitation into bed or into a relationship from the other. Just because it might not happen doesn't mean one or both doesn't want that. And when a friendship has that level to it, it's never a true, true friendship like a woman can have with a woman and a man with a man. ... Anyway, I'm getting off track. ... My point is a woman who chats online with a guy is still "cheating" but she's doing it in a different way. She's not getting naked or sucking anyone's cock, but she's feeling wanted and needed, something her husband/boyfriend isn't providing. But you can believe that she's not telling her man about this other dude because deep down, even if she justifies it to herself by saying she's not fucking anyone else, she knows it's wrong. ... Men, we'll take that road for a little while, but eventually, if we're making that kind of connection, we'll want it to become physical. And that's how cheating happens. It's not always going out with your boys and finding a girl down for a one-night stand. Yeah, it happens, but that's much more rare. ... Here's a scenario to think about: You're sitting in the corner of a bar. You see a married man standing at the bar with a few of his boys, maybe he'll look at a but or cleavage, but nothing serious. Nothing crazy. Then, you see a woman on the other side of the room. Also married. She's with some girlfriends having drinks and whatever women do (probably talking about men). Now, just based on that observation and nothing more, who would you say is more likely to cheat? Probably the man because why is he out at a club or bar with his boys when he has a woman at home, right? The women get a pass because it's more likely to be said that she's just out having a drink with her girls on a Friday night and she'll eventually go home to her husband as pure as when she left the house. ... I could seriously go on about this, but it's funner to talk about sex rather than monogamy. Everyone is capable of cheating, and let's leave it at that. As far as it being natural, my belief is with Christianity and our society, we're programmed to think monogamy is natural, but it's not. If it was, it wouldn't be so hard to fend off temptation for both sexes. ... Listening to So High by John Legend. ... Be cool and just don't get into a relationship if you think you might cheat. And if you wanna fuck someone else, get single first. Live by that rule and you'll be good. ... Sidenote: I won't say when this happened, but one time I was completely honest with two girls. I told one that I had something kind of popping off with another girl, but it wasn't close to serious. Then I told the other girl something similar after I met the other one. Both appreciated the honesty, they said. Then after a little time, one girl did things that pissed me off completely unrelated to the other girl or what I had told her. So she got the boot and the other one stayed around much longer and we became very cool. I learned that day that being honest actually works. I never knew that until then. I guess if you're talking to a girl and wanna mess with someone else, and you're technically single, just tell the other person.

Problem...

My vision is blurry. ... Is that bad?

Blueberries suck...

Listening to Poppin by Chris Brown. ... He's a hero of mine. ... My fault for not posting on this bitch for like four years but I just didn't feel like it. So I didn't. ... Speaking of girls, one really pissed me off in Phoenix. ... Speaking of other girls, one pissed me off today. ... Speaking of a third girl ... she seems legitimate. That makes me smile. ... Everyone else can get dick. ... Anytime I drive by the house I grew up in, I can barely look at it. That shit looks so different now. Not for the better, either. ... Nerdy white guys shouldn't use the word "mad" when referring to "a lot" of something. ... Mike always gives me too much tequila and I don't ever remember leaving his place of work. ... Rash Guard and Patreezy have the same effect on me, too. ... Remember, there are rules to reading this thing. ... Her head was so good it was like she was hiding a pussy in her mouth. ... A lot of people disappoint me. ... Oh, and this Nate character ended up being a fucking poser. Weird. ... Just because I'm quiet doesn't mean I'm mad. So stop asking. ... Junior's bachelor party was bananas. I don't like Las Vegas, but it ended up being ridiculous from the start of the trip to the end. ... Grape Ape also emptied his bank account on ONE stripper. He's so smart. ... Ryan and Anthony showed me a good time in Arizona. ... So did J and Kristie, for that matter. Good friends. Period. ... Yeah, I've been with girls out of pity. ... I like blueberries in pancakes and muffins. However, I recently discovered that blueberries raw and by themselves ... not so much. ... Law and Order is on. Yes! ... I gotta get out of here. ... I know people in high places but I'm still stuck. ... It's a cool feeling when you've been talking to someone and you're not sure if they like you the way you like them, and then they say something that leaves no doubt that they do. If that can't put a smile on your face, your soul is probably lost or high or on vacation or looking for a new owner. ... Alisha is moving to California. It's about time. ... Is Lil Wayne in jail? That's probably where he belongs. ... I like my iPhone again. ... I don't like googling my name. ... I like Bruce Lee movies. ... I don't like the Karate Kid sequels after the second one. ... Someone started a rumor that I like young girls. ... I like anyone that's fine and cool. ... I hate reading stupid fucking emails from people that don't know me. ... I haven't got high in a long time. ... I like apple juice. ... I don't like jerks. ... I used to like ghostwriting for people. ... I don't like when they would always bug me to do it for them. ... I'm an artist and I'm sensetive about my shit. ... I like my TV. ... I don't like my kitchen because it's a mess. ... I like my shoes. ... I don't like thinking about how much money I've spent on them. ... I like girls with afros. ... I don't like Dallas. ... I like Treme and The Wire. ... I don't like people who say The Sopranos is better than The Wire. ... I don't like diet soda. ... I like my bats. ... I like my gloves. ... I don't like when my batting gloves get all fucked up. ... I like your mom. ... She loves me in return. ... I like Asian girls, yes. That rumor is true. ... I don't like my hair. ... I like my skin color. ... I like Brandy. ... I don't like Brandi. ... I'm at a point in my life when I don't like going to strip clubs. ... Chicago is dope. ... Box Car got a job. Bogus. ... Remember when I never drank alcohol? ... Neither do I anymore. ... GA says I was boring then anyway. ... I have a fake white rose and one of those wooden things that has your name on it. Like the things the guys carve. Both are on top of my TV. ... Shut up, bitch. ... Please, use condoms. ... That reminds me, I'm happy she's not having a baby. ... It wasn't mine anyway. ... I got new socks and they're nice. ... I have to pack again. Fuck. ... Go away. ... Listening to Straight Outta Compton by NWA. ... Be cool and try not to do exactly what I do and get girls that way. Fucking asshole.